No Limit on Inane Banter

I’m back and would like to start posting again. If there is still anyone who still navigates to this site I will be most impressed, most likely I’m posting this only for myself.

I haven’t posted in nearly 6 months, but I’ve come around and would like to revive this dormant blog. I’ve been living in Dublin with my wife for nearly 3 months now, but I’m still able to get online and play on most weeknights. I’ve also enjoyed playing at the local casino – PL Omaha is the popular game here in Ireland so I go and play on a weekend night about 1 night every other weekend. I had a great night about 3 weeks when I was playing at the main table, I more than quadrupled my 500€ cash game buy in. Two big calling stations called my preflop pot raise to 435€ and thankfully I hit an ace on flop (didn’t matter I was committed anyway and was going allin on the flop) – they folded off their money and I only had one partial all-in guy to hold on against – I did and probably won one of my biggest in person pots in $’s – probably close to $2000.

Online I spent April and May trying to qualify for the World Series of Poker – man what a huge heartbreak! I got 2nd, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 6th….everything but the 1st place I needed to get my buy-in to the main event. Only 2 times did I have a realistic chance for 1st place. The first time I got moved off the best hand, because of a rookie call by a player that I attributed to much skill to – he had A9 and I had 99 and he called off 35% of his stack – I figured I was beat and he was slow-playing, wow was I wrong…but of course w/ my luck I would’ve lost anyway because an Ace hit on the river – so the moral of the story is that you want to be playing me heads up w/ a WSOP seat on the line! The last chance I had was the most heartbreaking – I played a guy from Dublin heads up for over 45 minutes at one time I had 400,000 in chips to his 300,000 – I was playing excellent poker, but so was he – and then I got down to 275,000 and he overbet the pot and I was fooled into thinking it was a bluff and he took me down – I made a big rookie mistake, but I’ll live and learn. I definitely feel I’ve taken my fair share of heartache in tournaments lately – I was spending all of my cash game winnings in April and May, now that June has come around I’m back to my bread and butter and starting to make huge gains (helps to be consistently winning when you should).

I think I’ll take my brothers advice next year and focus on the cash games to build my bankroll and I’ll just consider buying straight into the WSOP. I don’t regret the 2 months of hard core tournament poker though, I improved my tournament game a lot and will be getting back into it when I return to the US in August – but for now it’s back to basics or as Chuck Knox, former coach of the Seattle Seahawks said, "Dance with who brung ya".

I’ve primarily been playing shorthanded NL cash game poker. I’m really enjoying the competitiveness of shorthanded poker and Bodog has been a great site for that. I like learning other people tendencies and feel I’m getting much stronger at pattern recognition – a skill that after 2 years of semi-professional play I feel is really coming around. I’m primarily hitting up the $400 cash games – usually 2 short handed and lately I’ve been playing a full ring game of $1000. Hard to pass these full ring games up when you get people pushing all-in pre-flop w/ AK for $850 and you autocall w/ AA.

I’ve also continued to bonus whore – I just finished the UB bonus by hitting up their new 6 max $200 tables – my preflop raises were averaging 20% for nearly 2000 hands – I was the complete LAG (at least preflop and on the flop – but eased up if I got played back at it) – but man was I getting action – I caught cards and won about $1000 plus the bonus – I consider these games my stress release while I play my serious games on Bodog (or occasionally PP – but PP has been slow for me lately – the games at the $400 and $600 level have seemed fairly tight lately – but I know that’s just me, overall I’m sure they’re still great) and they are very enjoyable. One guy quoted my game as, “one foot in the grave and one foot on a banana peel” – LOL – I loved that and will definitely reuse it. 2-3 players gave me very strong compliments and were afraid to enter pots w/ me – so I guess the reaction to my style ran the gamut.

I’ve been playing some PL Omaha at PS – I like the $200-$400 tables, but the swings in Omaha are monstrous, because it’s tough to ever be that much of a favorite on anyone – you can go up $1000 and back down quite easy – but I find it enjoyable as my 5th or 6th table. NL Hold-em at PS is very tough – most of the $400 and $600 tables have a 20-25% saw the flop % and that’s just too tight for my liking.

I will be back in the US from July 1-9th and hitting Vegas w/ my brother from Tuesday the 5th to Friday the 8th – I may try for the WSOP – but I have to come back to Dublin, so most likely I won’t be going for it, though I’d like to get my brother in.

I have been working on a “Poker Encyclopedia” in addition to my “NL Cash Game Details” document. The Encyclopedia is a way to model the different variables you face in poker – I have started it off w/ AKs and will try to attach some of the details in a later post – if anyone is interested feel free to email me at chadf1975@hotmail.com

Saturday proved to be a little less fruitful than Friday. First of all, no hookers were offering me freebies. Second, I got my ass handed to me at the craps table. Why did all those 7s keep coming up at inoppurtune times?

I said fuck it, time to try something I can really control, like sports gambling. The sports book is the best place in the world for arm chair quarterbacking. Most of the people in there don't know jack shit about horse, football, or odds. The beauty is everyone has a tip. I usually just make some up, if asked.

Random dude-"Fuck man, is the SC/UW going to top the over in its game this week."
Faler(lying through his teeth)-"Well, last week they looked a little slow, I read(implies you read, hence are smarter than him), that Norm Chow(name dropping, even better as this is the offensive coordinator, so you really know what you are talking about) made some changes, so expect a higher scoring game(note, you don't tell him to take the over)." The end result is Joe Blow drops a few bones on the over. Guaranteed.

I placed one bet on Miami/NC St with Miami to cover. I figured Miami never loses to teams in the Carolinas and usually blows them out. This week was no different(note, Miami does in fact later lose to UNC this season). Then, I see UNM/SDSU. I take New Mexico to cover. Why, because State sucks, and they were on the road. Plus with the altitude... sure enough UNM 19-9 over State easily covering 5. Wow, an easy $80 right there.

After playing some poker, and watch DaGamer continually hit trips against retarded players who foolishly pushed anything over Ace high, I decided to go see if I could talk to some women who wouldn't charge me.

I ended up in Fontana's listening to possibly the worse band ever assembled. They had about 13 members and a string section. Strings might be imperative for the Wiener Philharmoniker, but for a band playing Foreigner and Styx they merely get in the way. The crowd really sucked too. Apparently, in the Bellagio you aren't cool if you act like you are enjoying yourself. You must sit down and look all tough and dour in your sport jacket. The band tried hard to fire up the lackluster crowd, however the cello solo during "Lady" inspired no one. Another point. The name. Some jerkweed with a degree in marketing probably thought the name Fontana symbolized class. How little do they know. Fontana, is in fact a city in Southern California. It has a racetrack. Jim Rome calls it Fon-tucky. At this race track they have a NASCAR race. So when I think of Fontana I think of NASCAR, which makes me think of Busch Light, which makes me think of Kentucky, which makes me think of trailer parks, and on and on. Notice nothing high class.

The night being a total disaster, I took off and called it an evening. Next installment, is about more Poker and some some sex advice from a cab driver.

I sit down in a 4/8 game at the Bellagio. It is a full table. Lots of action. Not too many hands for me, however the guy sitting next to me kept bitching about people chasing and presumbably beating him. Ironically, I flopped a lowball flush, and this guy and myself were heads up. He bets, I raise, he calls. Turn nothing. He checks, I bet, he raises, I reraise, he calls. Flop nothing, he bets all in, I call. The bad news for me, I was assuming anything not a heart was nothing, alas my friend here had J10 in the pocket. On the flop was 10....the turn a J, the river a 10. Talk about chasing. He never bitched about that hand.

Sensing, limit wasn't doing it for me, I wandered over to the 2/5 NL game. I bought in for 200, hit trips once and walked away with about $275. In true, TJ Cloutier fashion I felt a visit to the craps table was in order. Lots of sports jackets at the craps table. Way too many in fact. Hey fellas out there, it takes more than a sport jacket to be high class. First, cut the porn stache. Second, try to use a word other than "fuck" in every sentence. Third, try to keep the jewlrey to a minimum.

Anyway, the action was fast and furious and I played for awhile. Overall, too many 7s were rolled and I went down about $200. Feeling sorry for myself, I traversed to a bar in the bellagio and ordered a shot of Petron. Meanwhile, this really trashy lady struck up a conversation with me. Her name was Monica. Apparently, her job is that of a personal entertainer which is loosely defined as someone who makes visits to hotel rooms and entertains. Apparently you call her dispatcher/pimp and she shows up. Apparently she wasn't working at the time, though definetely on call.

According to her she makes $2000 on a good night, and the Venetian is the worse place to entertain. I told her, I couldn't afford her services. However, Monica possessed some good sales skills and offered to buy me a drink at Caramel. So we went to Caramel and Monica bought me another Petron plus Coors light chaser. She mentioned among other things that she had two kids, a green camaro(like me), and was a native of Portland, Oregon etc....

A few minutes later her phone rang, and she was dispatched on a mission. I asked her for a ride back to my hotel and she glady obliged. For free too.

Next part......The Visit to Fontana's plus some Sports Betting

This is "TheGamer's" contribution to the Vegas Vacation. I arrived Thursday night just ahead of F2aler and got instantly started in a 2/5 blind $100-$500 buy-in game (I came in for $400) at the Mirage. After about 3 hours of play I got down about $300 (but still kept rebuying my stack back to $400) - but won most of it back when I hit a set of Jacks against a guy w/ TPTK. This guy was a good player (he made an astounding call w/ Ace high when he thought a player missed his flush - and he was right) - because of this, he was able to get away from my monster hand - and only lost ~$150. Anyway - I ended the night up over $100 - so overall it was successful - but the game at the Mirage was pretty tight and wasn't as loose and rocking as the Bellagio game I had played months earlier.

F2aler arrived early Friday morning and we quickly set out for the Bellagio. I tried my hand at a $240 satellite to get into the $1000 Friday NL tourney. I ended up 4th out of 10 when I was shortstacked and pushed allin w/ Jh9h and got alled w/ A4 offsuite - he held up and I was busted - only the top 2 in the SNG got the buyin.

I then went and signed up for the 2/5 $200 (exactly) game and F2aler got into a 4/8 game. My game had 2 absolute fish (see F2's comment about morons) and I called for f2 to get into my game, unfortunately he got into a diff. game - that wasn't quite as rocking. One of the first hands I see when I sit down is one guy raised to $30 - and got one caller for $30. Raiser bets the flop that is Kc8c9d and then the pre-flop caller goes all-in. Raiser thinks for 2 seconds and calls. Preflop raiser has 2c6c (for a flush draw) and the other guy has Kd3s - utterly amazing they both played their garbage hands - and we're willing to go allin!! I knew right away this was a goldmine table. After that hand they both got all-in preflop plus one more guy - the 2 stooges had 88 and 99 the third guy had KK - of course the turn brought an 8 and the river a 9 - so the stooges were loaded (temporarily) w/ chips.

Then I get hand where I'm matched up w/ one of the stooges - I had about $500 in front of me at the time - and the guy raises to $20 preflop - I have TT and call. Flop comes KcTs2h - perfect board for me. Well to make a long story short we get about $300 into the pot and he bets the river (I have him correctly pegged w/ AK) for about $100 - I raise him all-in for about $275 more - obviously a monster bet - he sits and think about it for a minute - I then go get F2 and have him watch (an obvious tell I think I have a winner - but this guy is utterly oblivious). The guy then says - I bet you have me beat w/ 2 pair (oh if he only knew..) - he says he has to call though and flips over his AK for the loser. So this session was just made a big success thx to that big payoff.

Next report will contain my chat w/ Linda Keenan (author of PokerWorks) and playing NL w/ Mel Judah and just missing playing with Leonardo DiCaprio.

I am going to attempt to cover my Vegas trip in Serial format. Each post will cover something different. This one is the introduction. Most our time was spent at the Bellagio engaging in various gambling activities. Some of the highlights:
1. The Bellagio has lots of prositutes. It is very bad when a 14-15 beer + several shots fellow says to himself, damn they are pretty ugly
2. Sometimes a prostitute will give you a ride(in a car) back to your hotel, if you are too cheap for a cab, and use some persuasion
3. 80% of the Bellagio male clientele feels the need to wear a sport jacket.
4. Some people play poker like morons.
5. Some people play poker worse than morons.
6. You won't make any money, unless your monster hands are against versus aforementioned morons.

That is all for now. Part Two Tomorrow, will be titled Monica, the Personal Entertainer. Stay Tuned.

Well, I haven't played too much poker lately, hence not much blogging, but here I am. Quite frankly the cards or whatever haven't been going my way. I seem to be finding myself holding second best all too often, and getting limited action out of my good hands. That of course is a recipe for failure. For example, a recent hand earlier today at .5/1 NL, I was holding KK and raise preflop to 5. Some guy doubles me to 10, I put him all-in. In variabialy he has AA, and I down a cool $60. Now, I know all the monday morning QBs out there will say, to drop the KK there. Generally, I agree, however from the play I saw at the table this guy wouldl likely have played QQ, and AK the same way maybe even JJ. I figure I had a 60% chance at the best hand of the possible hands he would of played that way. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

I must say as the online poker universe grows exponetially the amount of self proclaimed poker experts has grown as well. I wouldn't belive anyone who says they make $X a month especially if X is a large number, anymore than I would believe a finanical statement from Enron. Another thing to think about is that as poker booms, when will its bust be? I'm sure there are people out there right now figuring that poker will grow endlessly. To all of you, please give me a call, I have some tech stocks you might be interested in.

I'm back to the playing. Need to prep for Vegas in two weeks.

I’d like to write about the NL mistakes I made last night on 3 specific hands:

#1 Don't call a raise with an inferior hand (unpaired face cards - even if they are suited)
$2/4 NL $400 game on PS I was in CO ($400 stack) with QhTh and called the BB of $4. The SB raised up to $16. Here is where I made my first error – I have made it a rule not to call raises with any hands except pairs or AK. I violated this rule and called the extra $12 because I saw 3 players in ahead of me. Until I get better at playing these unpaired cards I can’t call raises – and even if I do – it’s usually not profitable. The flop comes Qd8d2h. It’s checked around to me and I bet $40 on a ~$70 pot. The SB (who raised initially) comes over the top of me for $65 more – I feel committed to the hands (even if he has an over pair I have 7 outs or roughly 25% chance of wining the hand. So $65 to win $280 is roughly 1 in 4). I was right about the overpair – the SB had AA – he held up and I lost $120. My call on the flop raise was accurate, however I don’t feel I should have called the pre-flop raise in the first place – that call precipitated me going down this path.

A) Don’t call raises with hands like KQs, QTs – not worth it until I can square myself away with how to play these hands.


#2 Don't slow play a set
$2/4 NL $200 game on PP I was in the BB w/ 77 and someone in middle position made it $10 – and there were 6 callers (gotta love PP). The flop came 9h7c2d – picture perfect board for my set of 7’s – so I check (this check is what I’m taking issue with – my attempt to trap players on PP – a violation I shouldn’t make, because players on PP usually aren’t good enough to know when they’re getting trapped – you’re better off just leading out with the best hand). So everyone checks around and the turn is the jack of hearts. I bet $35 (another error – I should have made a pot sized bet or at least ¾ - close to $45) and got one caller. The turn was the Ace of hearts. I check recognizing a backdoor flush has been made and the other player goes all in for $125 on the pot that is now $130. I think about it and call and he turns over Kh6h for the flush. Another mistake on my part when I call this all-in thinking he’s bluffing. This hand was riddled with mistakes – and I’m going to keep replaying this one in my mind. Here are the steps I’m going to take to fix this:

B) Bet out sets on PP – NO SLOWPLAYING (unless prudent when the board is one suit or 3 cards in a row – but even then I will bet out and see if I get raised to make my decision)
C) Bet ¾ of the pot or the entire pot when you have hit a set – don’t bet too little – make any one that will draw out on you (and they will on PP) – really pay
D) Don’t call all in when you check the flop and then get a call on the turn and a flush hits on the river

#3 Don’t Bet High Pairs on the Turn if you raised Pre-Flop ($20-$25) and you bet the Flop Big
$2/4 NL $200 game on PP I was in MP 2 w/ KK and I bet out for $15 (this is mistake #1) – from now I’m going to bet $20 and most likely $25 when I have high pairs so if people want to call me with inferior hands (and they will on PP) then they have to pay for it. I get two callers. Pot is now ~$50. Board is Qc9d4s I bet $35 (I need to bet $40-$45 here and get one caller. Turn is an 8. I check and player X bets $30. I raise him to $60 putting him on AQ and he calls. He only has $80 behind now. This was a foolish raise on my part – I should have called him down and folded if he pushed – even though PP players play horribly I need to respect his hand. I also need to watch the board as I missed the fact that a JT draw was made (big hint as to his hand…). Anyway I push on the river and he calls the $80 and turns over JT for the winner. With a high pair, from now on I will call someone down for smallish bets – I can’t get away from this hand, but it definitely isn’t a made hand and I need to make my losses less expensive instead of foolishly pushing this hand.

E) Bet bigger on JJ, QQ, KK and AA – I will start betting $25 and make weaker players pay if they choose to call.
F) Bet ¾ of the pot or the entire pot on the flop – if I get called, I will immediately slow down into check/call mode so I can get to a showdown if I think I may still have the winner. If I get pushed – I will get away from the hand.

I stole this from the blog: http://cardsspeak.servebeer.com/ - but it's too funny not to share:

A quick post to recount one of the most memorable hands I've ever participated in.
Welcome to Hollywood Park, the place where the gambler's dreams can come true. Any two cards will do, no matter what limit you're playing. The game is $15-30 limit hold 'em, and you just sat down in a loose-passive game where most hands have 4 or 5 players seeing the flop.
You're in the big blind and watch as the pot is raised under the gun, and by the time the action gets to you, 6 players have called 2 bets cold. You throw in $15 and close the action, getting 15:1 on your call.
The flop: Kd 9c 6s
A young asian guy bets out, and a couple people call, include a middle aged black dude who keeps two dice on the table and rolls them periodically for luck. You chuck your trash hand, not catching a piece of the flop. There is now over $300 in the pot.
The turn comes the 7c, and asian guy bets out. Everyone folds to the dice man, who calls. The river is the harmless looking 2d, and asian guy bets, but dice man comes to life and raises. Asian guy looks puzzled and calls, turning over KTc for top pair. Dice man looks around the table, and rolls a 7 of hearts... and the 2 of hearts, scooping the $500 pot.
The table pauses for a moment, and the Asian guy awakes from his shock: "What the hell? How could you call with absolutely nothing on the flop?"
Diceman just stares at him.
30 seconds pass.
Asian guy: "That's the worst play I've ever seen!"
The rest of the table hears tapping on the aquarium and grows restless.
Diceman just stares at him.
Asian guy: (continues whining) "How could you call on that flop? Seven-deuce??? Worst play ever."
Diceman, finished stacking his chips, struggles with himself, showing a slight frown. He finally opens his mouth and calmly says,"That was not the worst play you've ever seen. Now look, I'm going to break my rule of not speaking at the table. I never speak at the table, but I feel like I have to explain why that was not the worst play ever. Now, you're not going to understand this unless you've jumped out of a plane before, but I'm gonna say it anyway... When you jump out of a plane, you have to trust your parachute."
The table sits in awed silence, and finally the asian guy says: "I don't understand what that means."
Diceman, getting up, says: "I told you, it won't make sense unless you've jumped out of a plane. You have to trust your parachute. And now, since I've broken my rule, I have to leave this table."
(groans from the rest of the players)
Diceman proceeded to sit in the $20-40 game and lose all of his money. Asian guy continued to call away most of his money, until he cracked my pocket kings by rivering a straight, at which point I was wondering what was wrong with my parachute.
Poker wisdom from Hollywood Park: You have to trust your parachute.